scrapbook

EXPOSURE: An interrogation of ordinary people mascots.

Standing 6 feet tall with skates on, the University of New Hampshire's hockey mascot weighs in at more than star player Steve Saviano, and is very heavy in the exuberance department. Despite suffering a major blow (a 4-1 loss to the University of Michigan on March 27 in the NCAA Tournament?s North East Regional), WILD E. still seemed to have its share of pep.

Hugging kids in the stands during the game keeps the cat going, as does the face time and ice time it gets between periods. It has also grown accustomed to the Ram Jam song, "Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)."

We?ll next see WILD E. in October at the UNH Men?s Hockey team home opener. Right now, the furry feline is thinking of taking an Alaskan cruise and getting some salmon fishing in.

WILD E. CAT: We?ve got to start off with a cheer!

J.L. STEVENS: Oh, you cheer?

WILD E.: I do physical cheers. But I don?t engage in any of those raunchy cheers that the students engage in.

J.L.: There are raunchy cheers at hockey games?

WILD E.: Yes. They spell the word, well, I don?t know what S-E-X spells. . .

J.L.: They spel* sex" at hockey games?

WILD E.: Ahhhhhhhhhh!

J.L.: I don?t even know if I?m allowed to print that.

So you have to cheer before we talk?

WILD E.: I just have my own private little cheer: Meow meow meow meow. Meow meow meow meow. Go Cats!

J.L.: All right. And what is your full name.

WILD E.: Wild E dot Cat.

J.L.: And what is the "E" for?

WILD E.: Energy!!!!

J.L.: Does it really?

WILD E.: It does. It does. It does. WILD E. is never short on energy.

J.L.: Well how old are you?

WILD E.: Well, I?m 4 years old.

J.L.: Is that ... you know how dogs age differently? What does that really mean?

WILD E.: Well, cats have nine lives. And I don?t remember any previous lives, so I?m going to be around forever. If I?m old right now, I don?t worry about it because I?ve got a lot of lives to go.

J.L.: Good. I?m glad to hear that.

Do you live in a dorm?
Photo by Deb Cram

WILD E.: Well, all I know is I know where the litter box is.

J.L.: Is it on the hockey rink?

WILD E.: Oh, no. It?s where the opposing team sits.

J.L.: WILD E.! You should be ashamed.

WILD E.: Oh, I don?t use it while they?re there. They stink it up enough as it is during the game.

J.L.: Are you a male or a female wild cat?

WILD E.: UNH had me neutered.

J.L.: Does UNH even have a vet school?

WILD E.: Yes, it?s a very reputable vet school. They work on large animals. My being a large cat, I was one of their first victims - oh - I mean patients.

J.L.: This is scandalous.

Which UNH sport do you like best?

WILD E.: I like ice hockey the best . . .um um . . .

J.L.: How come?

WILD E.: Because it?s a little-known fact, but cats can skate.

J.L.: I was wondering about that.

WILD E.: Yes. So, because I skate, I like to play hockey.

J.L.: That all makes sense to me.

How do you keep your spirits up now that the UNH hockey season is over?

WILD E.: Well, I?m sad about the hockey season being over, but it?s OK, because now I can shed some of my fur and get ready for the summer months and I?m going to have a makeover over the summer anyways.

J.L.: Oh my gosh.

WILD E. : Yes. So I?ve got things to do this summer, I?m thinking about changes to my body and a potential diet, and maybe a facial makeover.

J.L.: Are the Fab Five going to do something? Would that be a good idea?

WILD E.: Ooohh! That?s a good idea! To get the Fab Five involved.

J.L.: I love that.

Are you declawed?

WILD E.: Well, um...

J.L.: Can you not tell under those Bauer gloves?

WILD E.: I can?t tell if I?m declawed or not, but when I?m around the children, I definitely don?t use my claws.

J.L.: How come your head?s so big?

WILD E.: Well, it has a lot to do with INTIMIDATION! Intimidation is the key when you?re a Wildcat. You must intimidate your prey. And I feed upon terriers, I feed upon bulldogs, I feed on eagles, and you must have a big head to intimidate them.

J.L.: What about black bears?

WILD E.: Ohhhhhhh!!!

J.L.: Do you think you could take the Maine Black Bear in a fair fight?

WILD E.: Do you know what Maine Black Bear?s name is?

J.L.: No.

WILD E.: Bananas. Anybody could take on a black bear named BANANAS!

J.L.: All right, WILD E.

Do you get royalties from all the co-eds that wear your likeness on their T-shirts and sweat shirts at UNH?

WILD E.: Do you mean to say that there are likenesses of me on T-shirts?

J.L.: There are. You need to get out more. Maybe.

WILD E.: Does that mean you?re going to pay me for taking my picture?

J.L.: Not today.

Have you ever shot the T-shirt cannon? (The T-shirt cannon is used between periods to fire T-shirts into the crowd).

WILD E.: There was a bad accident a couple months ago, and I?m not allowed to shoot the cannon anymore.

J.L.: What about throwing the fish? (UNH tradition mandates that a fish be thrown on the ice after the first UNH goal is scored).

WILD E.: I have thrown the fish, but like the cannon, they don?t let me do that anymore, because after I got done with the fish, I ate half of it.

J.L.: Would you ever like to become a mascot at Disney World?

WILD E.: Well, it?s awfully hot down there and there?s a lot of competition.

J.L.: I bet, yeah. But you?re kind of cute.

WILD E.: Yeah? Thanks. Thanks. Yes I am really cute and I love the children. The children are the reason that we mascots are in business. I can handle 3,000 children. I don?t know if I could handle 30,000.

J.L.: Do any of the kids ever get scared.

WILD E.: Yes, sometimes they do, but maybe with the makeover that I?ll get this summer, I?ll appear more friendly. I won?t scare the children.

J.L.: You?re keeping us in suspense.

What do you do between periods?

WILD E.: Well, I do a lot of things. I practice up on my goalie skills. I?m kind of like the fourth string goalie for the team, so between periods I practice up on being goalie.

J.L.: Speaking of goalies, do you think Mike Ayers is cute?

WILD E.: Well, I can?t really say so because my agent is his girlfriend, so if I say yes ... I might get in trouble.

J.L: All right.

What?s your relationship like with Coach (Dick) Umile?

WILD E.: Well, Coach Umile is a stressed kind of guy before the game so I just kind of give him a high five and say, "Enjoy the game!" But you know, I really enjoy Coach Umile?s grandsons, Jack and Charlie. They?re always in the stands and they love to see me, and I really enjoy them.

J.L.: Have you ever ridden the Zamboni?

WILD E.: Um...

J.L.: Or are you not allowed to do that either?

WILD E.: See this big behind of mine? It doesn?t fit on the Zamboni.

J.L.: Speaking of your big behind, how come you don?t have a tail?

WILD E.: There was an incident in December with a mascot from the University of Minnesota. He clobbered me and threw me over the bench, and I lost my tail.

J.L.: Do you think they have it hanging somewhere in Minnesota?

WILD E.: I think they do. It?s kind of like a treasure for them.

J.L.: Is it common for you to get physical with the other mascots?

WILD E.: Oh, no. No. We try to model appropriate behavior for the children. I was an innocent bystander.

J.L: It?s fair to say you had the stuffing beaten out of you.

Lastly, have you ever considered growing a mullett?

WILD E.: Strange that you should ask. For two years, the year before this and the year before that, the team grew beards - rally beards they called them - and WILD E. grew a beard as well, it was nice and scruffy...

J.L.: It came in well?

WILD E.: It did. It came in well. Yes, I look really nice. But I enjoy the clean-shaven look. I?m furry enough as it is.

Posted by thinkum at April 16, 2004 09:43 AM