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Hampton toll booth tragedy becomes inspirational story

HAMPTON (N.H.) -- Burned beyond recognition in a horrific accident at the Hampton tolls when he was almost two, Joel Sonnenberg has overcome much in the last 25 years.

On Tuesday, he will bring his inspirational message to the Seacoast.

Since being burned over 85 percent of his body as an infant, Sonnenberg has had to learn life's skills without the use of fingers and toes. His facial features have been scarred for so long that he no longer remembers looking otherwise.

Joel Sonnenberg

Sonnenberg's message, which is found a his new book "Joel," is one of developing unique abilities and gifts. It chronicles his experiences, from the accident up to his graduation from college.

In a telephone interview from his parent's home in North Carolina, Sonnenberg, now almost 27, said he felt "compelled" to write the book because of all the questions people have had throughout his life. "Joel" shares the lessons he has learned.

Sonnenberg, also says it was a privilege to be able to sit down, gather different perspectives and write the book from his perspective on life.

Of his injuries, Sonnenberg said he grew up not knowing he was any different. "I was burned at such a young age. I really don't remember having fingers and toes, and I don't remember anything about the accident," he said.

Sonnenberg plans to visit the Hampton Toll Plaza on Tuesday at 10:30 a.m. - almost 25 years to do the day when his life changed forever. He will receive a special proclamation on overcoming adversity from state Sen. Russell Prescott, R-Kingston.

On Sept. 15, 1979, Sonnenberg, his father Mike, and an uncle were at the toll plaza when an 18-wheel truck, driven by Reginald Dort, crashed into the line of cars.

The impact of the crash turned Sonnenberg's car seat upside down where it remained in the flaming car. Sonnenberg's father and uncle got out, but without the infant. A Good Samaritan rescued the infant, who was still in his car seat. Sonnenberg was burned over 85 percent of his body including hands, fingers and skin covering his skull. He was taken to Exeter Hospital, later transferred to Boston's Children Hospital and ultimately sent to the Shriners Hospital for burn victims. He had to endure more than 40 surgeries to repair the damage to his body but has been left with permanent scars.

The truck driver, Dort, fled to Canada to avoid prosecution. He was caught in 1997 during a stop at a weigh station in Illinois. In December 1998, he pleaded guilty to one count of second-degree assault and was sentenced to two to seven years in prison with the maximum sentence suspended. In September 1999, he was deported to Canada. Sonnenberg documents the trial and his reaction to it. He preferred to keep some of those details under wraps. He said he does not have any resentment toward Dort.

Regarding Dort's sentence, he said "It's nothing that I can change. I've moved on."

Sonnenberg said it was through the help of his parents, teachers and administrators who went out of their way to minimize the fact that he looked different from other people. "Kids accepted me, knew what happened to me and still liked me anyway."

Sonnenberg said he remembered having to live with physical pain and discomfort, which was more of an annoyance than anything. He adapted to not having fingers through trial and error.

"Kids are very resilient and very adaptive to that sort of thing," he said. "It was a blessing I was burned so young."

In the book, Sonnenberg describes how - before he went to school - people would speak to his fellow students, telling them about their new classmate and why he was different.

As a result, "I was more like a celebrity coming to school, rather than a monster," he said.

Initially, parents and administrators were afraid of him because they did not know what kind of attention or medical care he would need.

"They really didn't want me there. It was a process of letting them express their fears, addressing their fears, finding solutions to those fears and finding that I was capable of something just like any other kid," he said.

He said once people understood what had happened, it was not too difficult adjusting.

"Everybody has strengths and weaknesses. Mine just might be a little more obvious than others," he said. "Some of the difficulties were trying to find my niche and trying to find what my gifts were." Just like any child would practice writing or vocabulary, Sonnenberg also had to practice his skills. His parents got him a computer at a young age to help him. He can now type about 90 words per minute.

Rather than letting his differences get in the way, Sonnenberg said he tried new things.

"I opened up doors for me to succeed. People expected success, rather than expecting failure," he said. "I tried everything."

Sonnenberg said he got involved with Boy Scouts and later became an Eagle Scout. He was active in his high school's student government, serving as president of his freshmen class, student body treasurer, and student body president.

He also tried the school band. "I was the drummer and I didn't have any fingers. I did that for a year. I did all right, but I didn't think that was my gift," he said.

He continued his musical pursuits by joining chorus. Sonnenberg even played soccer, becoming team captain.

A stick shift doesn't even stop him. "Driving a car was a natural progression from walking. People didn't think I could walk or play soccer," he said. "People didn't think I could write, let alone do well in school."

Upon graduating from high school in 1996, Sonnenberg attended Taylor University in Indiana and studied communications. He continued his involvement in student government and served as president of his sophomore class and vice president of the student council senior year.

He was a Big Brother. He also had a long list of speaking engagements and served as a counselor at burn camps.

While at Taylor University, he took an acting class, just for fun. Apparently, someone from that class was impressed with his acting ability and later encouraged him to get on a television show. This led to a guest role on an episode of the Pax series "Sue Thomas F.B.Eye," which is about a deaf woman who is an FBI agent. Because he had some deep questions about why things happen to individuals, he decided to pursue a master's in theology at Columbia International University. People have often sought advice from him.

"The more we understand suffering, the more we understand ourselves. I think there can be joy that is brought through the suffering. You can have joy in the midst of hurting."

For now, Sonnenberg has a full schedule promoting the book and catching up with old friends. He will be traveling to the Shriners Hospital on Wednesday and visiting with doctors and nurses who helped him. That night he will be speaking at a youth rally at 7 p.m. at First Baptist Church in Hampton Falls. On Thursday, he will be doing some radio interviews and speaking at another service at First Baptist Church at 7 p.m. On Saturday at noon, he will be signing books at Sam's Club in Seabrook. For more information about Sonnenberg can be found on his Web site at www.joel.cc

[original article]

Posted by thinkum at September 13, 2004 03:17 PM