April 26, 2004

Marriage Lite

The brouhaha over gay marriage isn't limited to the U.S.; France is now wrestling with a prime example of the Law of Unintended Consequences: Straight Couples Use French Civil Unions Law Created For Homosexuals

There is at least some measure of equality in the situation. What's sauce for the goose, is sauce for the gander. But it sounds so science-fictiony, practical in many respects, yet empty in so many others. And what about children? They will be your children forever, civil contract or no. What effect will it have on them? Are there any protections for them, in the new law?

I suppose marriage as a concept means different things to different people. My own family is tightly knit, with many examples of long, successful marriages - the lesson taught to me since childhood is when things get tough, you work harder, and you get through it. It's not something to be cleanly set aside when you stop having fun.

And yet, one of my siblings is now in the process of ending a marriage. The news came as a tremendous shockwave, leaving everyone stunned. Despite twenty years, two kids, and extended counseling, the relationship is ending. We seem to flutter about, helplessly, like trapped moths - there's nothing in our experience that has prepared us for this. All we can do is keep loving her, one another, and everyone involved. It's horrible. But I can't imagine them exchanging the past twenty years of marriage for a simple civil union contract.

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The full text:

Straight Couples Use French Civil Unions Law Created For Homosexuals

France resolved its debate over same-sex marriage several years ago by creating civil unions. But the law has had unexpected effects.

What began as a way to provide some legal protection for people in homosexual relationships has become a real alternative for heterosexual couples in France, thousands of whom come to municipal offices to sign "civil pacts of solidarity," or PACS, rather than get married.

Now We Have Rights

The ceremony itself takes just a few minutes. The couple goes to a court and assures the clerk they are not married to anyone else. After a few more basic questions, the papers are signed and the PACS is official.

"Now we have rights," a woman in a same-sex union says, "which we didn't have a few hours ago."

Under the civil pact, each partner is eligible for the other's work benefits. And after three years, they can get the same tax breaks as married couples. Ending the PACS can be as quick and easy as signing one.

"It is not necessary to divorce," says Daniel Borrillo, a legal specialist. "It is only necessary to inform the authorities that you decided to terminate the contract."

If there's a dispute, one party gives notice, and three months later, it's over.

The PACS law was hugely controversial when it was going through the French parliament in the late 1990s. Opponents of the law clashed with its supporters.

The law passed, but only after it was expanded to make heterosexuals eligible for civil unions as well. Otherwise, some argued, the law would be discriminatory.

It turned out to be a big change.

Marriage Attitudes

Some straight couples opting for the civil pact are older and have married before, but most are young couples.

In a country with a divorce rate of 38 percent, where some 40 percent of children are born out of wedlock, many consider marriage an obsolete institution.

"My parents got divorced," one woman says. "I don't regard marriage as sacred."

So, a law initially written for gay couples has evolved into a sort of marriage light for straight couples.

"It was the need of the gay community," says Pascal De Bodard of the Gay and Lesbian Center of Paris. "But at the end of the day, it was to the benefit of the whole French population."

Posted at April 26, 2004 12:20 PM in Social Order
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