I've been exposed recently to a course in resilience at work. The timing is good, because we're going through some uncertainty. The bottom line? Know thyself, and let it pass.
I'm over-simplifying, of course. The book goes on at great length about how you have to watch your reactions, your thoughts, and your buried assumptions. It talks about dealing with the consequences and focusing on better results. I still think I'm on the money with my summary.
Have you ever listened, really listened to your inner monologue? Try it sometime; you may be surprised. Going through this course made me listen a bit more closely. I've prided myself on self-honesty, and I think I generally practice it, but you really have to stop and listen to yourself.
What does this have to do with the title, "passing effect"? When you really understand why you feel something or react in a certain way, it passes. At least, the emotional charge passes after the cold review. A lot of anger is just a reaction to having your personal space violated, metaphorically, and that looks pretty silly in retrospect. A lot of grief (and I'm not talking about real tragedy here) drags on because you think about what might have been, and why should you linger on that? I'm happy to say that laughter stays. :)
How many people in the world can really stand to ask honestly why they do something? For some -- let's just go ahead and say politicians -- the answer is pretty easy, naked ambition and they accept it. How many others?
Posted by PyeCat at April 1, 2004 02:24 AMReaders seem to like it, based on the reviews at Amazon.
On the surface, the "passing effect" is very logical advice, but given that no two humans have exactly the same psychological blueprint, it is not a universal solution. A couple of years ago, one of my oldest friends recommended another title to me, "The Highly Sensitive Person". If you're part of the titular demographic, it will be a lifeline; if you're not, it will still explain a lot about your friends who are.
Posted by: Thinky at April 1, 2004 03:16 AM