Fred and I were looking for a report on a weird traffic accident he witnessed last week, and we wound up perusing the Police Logs in the local paper. I just had to share some examples of the electrifying events that go on in a small New England town.
In fairness, let me state up front that I've deleted most of the "normal" entries from this list of reports, but, swear to god, the extract below consists of actual entries from the Rochester (NH) police log, as published in the newspaper. (I live in Dover, but Rochester is - literally - only a stone's throw from here.)
It would be interesting to assign these to a writing class to use as the opening lines of a short story, and see what they come up with. Some of the word choices are priceless...
Tuesday, March 23
6:59 a.m. Sylvia Warren of 576 Portland St. spots a pink tent, but no campers, in her woods.
9:19 a.m. Mark Nurmi of 80 Chestnut Hill Road says his black Labrador has taken off.
1:38 p.m. On Gonic Road, Handy Rons window is hit by a BB pellet
4:13 p.m. Suspicious door-to-door salespersons work Winter Street.
4:41 p.m. On Page Street, another door-to-door vendor creates mild alarm.
5:51 p.m. At Country Brook Estates, door-to-door purveyors of magazines make some people uneasy.
Wednesday, March 24
5:39 a.m. John Perron of 17 Auclair Road, Middleton has lost his beagle near the Hancock Street Getty.
3:55 p.m. Fern Sordiff of 20 Mavis Ave. reports that her son was almost attacked by a rottweiller, but cleverly distracted it with a ball.
7:24 p.m. A Jeep Wrangler disappears into woods behind Woodland Green. A metal on metal noise emanates from the trees.
Thursday, March 25
6:51 p.m. Dana-Lynn Leeman of 67 Goldrush Lane endures people throwing beer bottles at her trailer.
Friday, March 26
3:39 p.m. A light brown sedan tows skateboarders up Lowell Street.
9:09 p.m. Loud music erupts at 59 North Main St.
10:38 p.m. Jeffrey Jones of 23 Woodman St. finds a small pit bull.
Saturday, March 27
3:49 a.m. On Milton Road a possible drunk driver is checked out. It is just a driver being cautious in wet, dark conditions.
5:47 p.m. Speeders ruffle feathers on Waverly Street.
10:37 p.m. An intoxicated gentleman on Lafayette Street gets a ride to his home, nearby.
11:58 p.m. A protective custody arrest is made after a carfuffle on Chestnut Street.
Sunday, March 28
12:50 a.m. A car on Cleo Circle gets tangled up with a basketball hoop and drags it down the street.
7:16 p.m. A lady yells at 46 South Main St.
Monday, March 29
3:41 a.m. Four gentlemen snooze, suspiciously it is alleged, in a van in the tollbooth rest area.
11:17 a.m. Anne Chadbourne of 5 Stewart Court is stopped from visiting her family cemetery by a neighbor. Police advise her to request an escort, next time.
2:36 p.m. A man pounds and yells, yells and pounds at McDuffee Brook Place.
7:05 p.m. At Amazon Campground, a drive-by window peeker-inner causes irritation.
Tuesday, March 30
9:37 a.m. Theft rears its ugly head at East Rochester School.
3:29 p.m. Brian Fahrman of 91 Ten Rod Road reports his dogs have taken off.
4:18 p.m. Two chaps fight on Mavis Avenue.
11:10 p.m. A strange man is laying down in the back of a vehicle parked on the back ramp of Rochester Manor.
11:53 p.m. A strange person is in a vehicle parked outside 12 Old Dover Road.
Wednesday, March 31
12:40 a.m. The driver of a Milton vehicle (plate number noted) dumps trash in the Frisbie parking lot and then yells at the maintenance man.
6:38 a.m. Carla Kingsbury of Eastern Propane finds a white poodle near Ten Rod Road. The owner of a white poodle calls to lament their loss. Owner and poodle are re-united. Oh, happy day!
11:20 p.m. There is a loose, yapping, irritating dog on Edgewood Lane.
Friday, April 2
12:53 a.m. In an alleyway, near Slims Tex Mex Cantina, lurks a man with an axe.
3:26 p.m. A Rottweiller runs near Reagan Drive.
5:34 p.m. A Rottweiller knocks over a small girl on Rudman Drive.
6:49 p.m. A lady is allegedly threatened outside her Brock Street home by someone dropping off Avon products at the wrong house. Things get smoothed over.
Saturday, April 3
1:36 a.m. Half a dozen people slug it out at Franklin Heights.
11:13 a.m. A beagle goes AWOL from 228 North Main St.
2:42 p.m. OHRVs jet up and down Jenness Street.
10:06 p.m. Nicole Andrews of 8 Church St. is called rude names and her vehicle is spat upon.
11:01 p.m. There is a tent on Franklin Street, near the cemetery.
Sunday, April 4
3:18 a.m. A Beauview Street resident receives a crank call from someone masquerading as a Texas Border Patrol officer.
10:08 a.m. Vulgar music blasts from a red car on DAmours Avenue.
11:34 a.m. Raymond Mazanowski of 68 Congress St. is chased by a dog.
Posted by thinkum at April 18, 2004 08:59 PMWho, in God's name, uses the word carfuffle?
And I can tell you exactly how to snooze suspiciously. I, both of my brothers, and my father all snore, loudly. So, I know that if one of them looks like they are asleep, but aren't snoring, they aren't asleep.
Posted by: Noah at April 20, 2004 05:14 AMBut "carfuffle" is such a lovely word. *g*
I don't think lack of snoring counts as snoozing suspiciously; it's more like "suspicion of snoozing", which is very different...
Posted by: Thinky at April 20, 2004 09:09 PM