the usual suspects

I love you guys.

To paraphrase one of my favorite children's books, this has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad month. And I just wanted to say thanks to you guys, because your friendship has really helped me cope.

The past 24 hours have been intense. The background bullet points:

• A year ago, one of my two best friends saw her eldest son (29) diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. He had his latest MRI this week, three weeks sooner than they normally do it; I haven't heard the results yet.
• Five months ago, my other best friend lost her mother, a dear woman with whom she was very close and whom I greatly admired. My friend has spent most of her free time since then cleaning out the house; this week, she had to oversee the delivery of a dumpster to dispose of the last unclaimed items from her childhood home before selling it.
• Four months ago, I learned that my favorite uncle was fighting multiple cancers. Earlier this month, my mother told me that his latest chemo has proved ineffective.
• Seven years ago, I had a massive case of shingles that permanently damaged a nerve around my right eye, triggering chronic pain episodes and clinical depression. Three weeks ago, my office informed me that they needed to change my job responsibilities and/or hours due to my ongoing shingles-related sick leave usage.
• Two and a half weeks ago, I had dinner with a friend who is struggling with an even more significant medical problem than I have, and learned that her condition has been worse than ever.
• Two weeks ago, one of my sisters announced that she and her husband of 20 years were filing for divorce.
• Yesterday, my tiny new little niece was checked into Boston Children's Hospital in preparation for major heart surgery.

And last night, everything that had built up into that wave of stress, crested and crashed around me.

I think I knew, somehow, earlier in the day, that it was going to happen, and that I needed to do something to prepare for it.

I had an appointment, along with my two best friends, for haircuts with our favorite hairdresser. For some reason, I told her to cut it. Not just scrape the ends, which is what she's been doing for several years now, but just chop it all off, and donate it to Locks of Love. Everything in my life (other than Fred) has been in a tailspin, lately, but this, this was the one thing over which I could exert complete and total personal control...while helping someone else at the same time. It was a wise move.

I've had a massive cold for the past week, so I wanted to go straight home afterwards, but again, for some reason, I made a different choice: we went out for dinner. (Well, my two friends had dinner; I had eaten lunch a couple of hours late, so I had dessert instead. Life is short, and chocolate is my drug of choice.) We communed for a while, sharing support with one another. Another wise move.

I was home by eight, and picked up the phone to call my friend with the medical issue worse than mine...to learn that a few days ago, things had gotten to the point that she couldn't go on, and she decided that it would be her last day on this earth. Too many years of different medications and treatments have completely failed to relieve her chronic pain, which on a scale of 1 to 10 is almost always at 10. We're not talking about someone with a low pain threshold or a need for attention, either, but someone who simply could no longer stand the physical agony of her condition.

Thank god, goddess, or any other diety of your choice - when she started phoning friends to say goodbye, the first person she reached was someone who had been through a similar experience, and was able to bolster her courage to get past the immediate crisis point. With the love and support of her wonderful husband, she's now receiving the uber-heavy artillery of pain medications, usually reserved for terminal cancer patients and similar cases, and for the first time she can remember, is experiencing some pain relief.

We spoke for almost two hours, facing all the realities of our lives both frankly and deeply. When we hung up the phone...I don't know how to describe it. I don't think I really can. And, I'm not even really sure where this story is headed. But somehow, I felt the need to tell you guys, and to let you know how much strength I've drawn from your friendship over the past several years, and how much your friendship continues to mean to me. So thank you, guys, with all my heart.

And my little niece? Spoke to my family a few hours ago, and everything seems to have gone perfectly today. Blessings do come, no matter how dark the world looks.

Scrapbook

Just as a by-the-by, if you haven't already found it from the link on my soapbox page, I also keep a Scrapbook of odds and ends that I come across in my ramblings through the internet jungle. It's an eclectic mix of stuff, some serious, some silly, but you might find it entertaining. New entries are added on most weekdays and occasional weekends. (Note: this is an anthology of actual articles, not my Op/Ed on them.)

NYU student sleeps for months in library basement

"Sophomore Steve Stanzak, 20, said he began spending six hours a night in the sub-basement of Bobst Library at the beginning of the academic year after he was unable to pay a $1,000 housing deposit. He slept on library chairs and carried vital belongings -- a laptop computer, books, clothes -- in his backpack.

University officials eventually discovered an online journal Stanzak kept about his experiences and relocated him to a free dorm room last Tuesday.

[...] Although he works four jobs and has several student loans, Stanzak said he received no financial assistance from his family and had only enough money to cover tuition, about $31,000 a year for full-time undergraduates."

I have a mix of reactions to this story. Bravo to a student determined to BE a student, whatever it takes, and who tackles the challenge with ingenuity. But how unforgivable, that it took him that amount of effort to be able to afford his education. As a society, we continue to overlook the fact that, if we want to be highly placed in scientific and cultural endeavors, we must provide some means of replenishing the brain trust of our own citizens, rather than simply importing from abroad.

Attention, music mixers!

This is an extract of an article at CNN:

"David Bowie has invited fans to bootleg his music -- and he's offering prizes for the most creative theft.

The musician's Web site urges fans to mix classic Bowie songs with material from his latest album, "Reality," to create a "mash-up" -- a track that uses vocals from one song superimposed over the backing tracks of another.

The music software needed for the task can be downloaded from Bowie's Web site, along with tracks from his new album.

Following the end of the contest on May 17, Bowie will choose the winning tack, and it will be released as an MP3 single. The winner will also get a new car."

Here's a link to his website.

Chocolate, opener of locks

Is it scarier that chocolate is such a powerful incentive, or that someone decided to investigate this? Perhaps the varieties available in London are just better!

New hacking tool: chocolate

April is the month of...

According to The Daily Globe World Dates Archive, April is (amongst other things):

Grass Month
Uh-huh Month
Both National Anxiety Month, and Stress Awareness Month
Not just National Humor Month, but also Holy Humor Month

and my favorite,

International Twit Award Month

April also contains:

Cruelest Month Week
Straw Hat Week
Egg Salad Week
Lefty Awareness Week
National Bubblegum Week

Publicity Stunt Week, which is no doubt somewhat undermined by TV Turn-Off Week and National TV-Free Week

Both National Library Week and Library Forgiveness Week, which should prepare you for National Reading a Road Map Week

National Lingerie Week, which I'm sure certain of our number would like to combine with National Give-A-Sample Week

I'm almost afraid to look at May...

Other "This Day In History" sites:

YarraNet
Those Were The Days
History Channel
Any Day In History

Care to buy a castle?

Comes complete with a legal noble title of "Baron(ess)".

(Evidently their attempt to peddle it on eBay was unsuccessful.)

Geek Guide

This geek guide reads like a geek's dream. Joke, or serious? You decide. :)

How exactly does one snooze suspiciously?

Fred and I were looking for a report on a weird traffic accident he witnessed last week, and we wound up perusing the Police Logs in the local paper. I just had to share some examples of the electrifying events that go on in a small New England town.

In fairness, let me state up front that I've deleted most of the "normal" entries from this list of reports, but, swear to god, the extract below consists of actual entries from the Rochester (NH) police log, as published in the newspaper. (I live in Dover, but Rochester is - literally - only a stone's throw from here.)

It would be interesting to assign these to a writing class to use as the opening lines of a short story, and see what they come up with. Some of the word choices are priceless...

Tuesday, March 23

6:59 a.m. — Sylvia Warren of 576 Portland St. spots a pink tent, but no campers, in her woods.

9:19 a.m. — Mark Nurmi of 80 Chestnut Hill Road says his black Labrador has taken off.

1:38 p.m. — On Gonic Road, Handy Ron’s window is hit by a BB pellet

4:13 p.m. — Suspicious door-to-door salespersons work Winter Street.

4:41 p.m. — On Page Street, another door-to-door vendor creates mild alarm.

5:51 p.m. — At Country Brook Estates, door-to-door purveyors of magazines make some people uneasy.

Wednesday, March 24

5:39 a.m. — John Perron of 17 Auclair Road, Middleton has lost his beagle near the Hancock Street Getty.

3:55 p.m. — Fern Sordiff of 20 Mavis Ave. reports that her son was almost attacked by a rottweiller, but cleverly distracted it with a ball.

7:24 p.m. — A Jeep Wrangler disappears into woods behind Woodland Green. A metal on metal noise emanates from the trees.

Thursday, March 25

6:51 p.m. — Dana-Lynn Leeman of 67 Goldrush Lane endures people throwing beer bottles at her trailer.

Friday, March 26

3:39 p.m. — A light brown sedan tows skateboarders up Lowell Street.

9:09 p.m. — Loud music erupts at 59 North Main St.

10:38 p.m. — Jeffrey Jones of 23 Woodman St. finds a small pit bull.

Saturday, March 27

3:49 a.m. — On Milton Road a possible drunk driver is checked out. It is just a driver being cautious in wet, dark conditions.

5:47 p.m. — Speeders ruffle feathers on Waverly Street.

10:37 p.m. — An intoxicated gentleman on Lafayette Street gets a ride to his home, nearby.

11:58 p.m. — A protective custody arrest is made after a carfuffle on Chestnut Street.

Sunday, March 28

12:50 a.m. — A car on Cleo Circle gets tangled up with a basketball hoop and drags it down the street.

7:16 p.m. — A lady yells at 46 South Main St.

Monday, March 29

3:41 a.m. — Four gentlemen snooze, suspiciously it is alleged, in a van in the tollbooth rest area.

11:17 a.m. — Anne Chadbourne of 5 Stewart Court is stopped from visiting her family cemetery by a neighbor. Police advise her to request an escort, next time.

2:36 p.m. — A man pounds and yells, yells and pounds at McDuffee Brook Place.

7:05 p.m. — At Amazon Campground, a drive-by window peeker-inner causes irritation.

Tuesday, March 30

9:37 a.m. — Theft rears its ugly head at East Rochester School.

3:29 p.m. — Brian Fahrman of 91 Ten Rod Road reports his dogs have taken off.

4:18 p.m. — Two chaps fight on Mavis Avenue.

11:10 p.m. — A strange man is laying down in the back of a vehicle parked on the back ramp of Rochester Manor.

11:53 p.m. — A strange person is in a vehicle parked outside 12 Old Dover Road.

Wednesday, March 31

12:40 a.m. — The driver of a Milton vehicle (plate number noted) dumps trash in the Frisbie parking lot and then yells at the maintenance man.

6:38 a.m. — Carla Kingsbury of Eastern Propane finds a white poodle near Ten Rod Road. The owner of a white poodle calls to lament their loss. Owner and poodle are re-united. Oh, happy day!

11:20 p.m. — There is a loose, yapping, irritating dog on Edgewood Lane.

Friday, April 2

12:53 a.m. — In an alleyway, near Slim’s Tex Mex Cantina, lurks a man with an axe.

3:26 p.m. — A Rottweiller runs near Reagan Drive.

5:34 p.m. — A Rottweiller knocks over a small girl on Rudman Drive.

6:49 p.m. — A lady is allegedly threatened outside her Brock Street home by someone dropping off Avon products — at the wrong house. Things get smoothed over.

Saturday, April 3

1:36 a.m. — Half a dozen people slug it out at Franklin Heights.

11:13 a.m. — A beagle goes AWOL from 228 North Main St.

2:42 p.m. — OHRVs jet up and down Jenness Street.

10:06 p.m. — Nicole Andrews of 8 Church St. is called rude names and her vehicle is spat upon.

11:01 p.m. — There is a tent on Franklin Street, near the cemetery.

Sunday, April 4

3:18 a.m. — A Beauview Street resident receives a crank call from someone masquerading as a Texas Border Patrol officer.

10:08 a.m. — Vulgar music blasts from a red car on D’Amours Avenue.

11:34 a.m. — Raymond Mazanowski of 68 Congress St. is chased by a dog.

Giving Passwords the Finger

Came across this blurb this morning:

"Basically anytime you need to log into anything, you just simply will place your finger on the sensor, and a fingerprint match will occur on the server, and proceed to log you into the application"

Rather than storing the actual fingerprint, the company (DigitalPersona) stores a "300-byte template of some of the salient features of your fingerprint," which is apparently sufficient for identification purposes.

It's one of those concepts that both intrigues and worries me.

It certainly would simplify logins for users. The story suggests the average user has around a dozen "personas" online, and I have easily three times that; juggling all the passwords for my various accounts has been problematic, to say the least. Of course, in order to actually work, the systems to which you wish to connect have to modified to interface with the fingerprint scanner and template database. And, there's no guarantee that it will take hackers any longer to crack this new system than it takes them to defeat any of the other, existing security schemes.

Then there's the ever-present privacy issue. My passwords are just that: mine. I can change them whenever I want, to whatever I want, and when appropriate, I can share them with a business partner or a family member. I can set up applications to save my password and automatically log me in and execute lengthy tasks in the off hours, when I'm asleep. The various venues where I conduct online business transactions, have no way to cross-connect to my data at other sites using only my name and password. And rather than deterring identity theft, I think it more likely that malicious users will find a way to fake out the new system, leaving everyone vulnerable at an entirely new level.

Convenience versus freedom. It's a slippery slope.

Stunt Pilots to Help NASA's Bid to Catch Solar Dust

I thought they were nuts when I first heard about this last week(see April 7th post "NASA probe returning with solar booty"). I still think they're nuts, but evidently they're completely serious about the endeavor:

"Somewhere over a wide stretch of Arizona desert today, the Jet Propulsion Laboratory will perform its best impersonation of James Bond. [...] For a scientific facility best known for shipping six-wheeled rovers to Mars and flinging probes to the far corners of the solar system, the terrestrial exercises might seem a bit mundane. Then again, none of those missions ever involved stunt pilots or helicopters snatching a space probe from midair."

The article goes on to state,

"Decades ago, during the early days of the space race, military jets did much the same thing, capturing film canisters that had been jettisoned by spy satellites and left to parachute through Earth's atmosphere. Since then, though, helicopters have made the process easier, and mission planners expect no problems."

I had no idea we used to do that...and I'm amazed that we (apparently) did. I wonder what the success rate was on that sort of effort?

I'm curious what sort of odds this venture is getting in Vegas.

Harvey, is that you?

We live in interesting times:

[...] human trials are set to begin on a brain-computer interface involving implants. [...] Cyberkinetics' "Brain Gate" contains tiny spikes that will extend down about one millimeter into the brain after being implanted beneath the skull, monitoring the activity from a small group of neurons.

Of course, that excerpt I culled from the full story is misleading -- the technology does not control, but interpret, mental activity. Still, it's a fascinating concept, and one wonders if, once the science has been worked out, the technique couldn't, in fact, be applied in reverse. Grunchlk, look out...

Nieces & Neffers

Have to show off this piccie of Sonia with her new siblings, from Easter. ;-)

Clockwise from lower left corner: Joe, Abram, Sam, Alan, Laurel, Sonia

[clicking the thumbnail will open a larger image in pop-up window]

Chicken & Dumplings & Shaw Scope

In times of stress, we all have things we turn to for comfort. I'll list a few of mine.

The first is Chicken & Dumplings. Surprise, I made a batch on Sunday! I'm Southern, it's Spring, and it was time. I've considered cooking some for some little while, and finally made the effort.

What do I put in Chicken & Dumplings? Well, you have to understand that I almost never actually measure anything. Having said that, the ingredients are:

Skinless, boneless chicken breasts
Skinless, boneless chicken thigh cutlets (if you don't mix the white and dark meat, the taste doesn't turn out correctly)
Onion
Celery (very important)
Parsley
One (1) bay leaf (this is easy to measure)
Salt and Pepper (use to taste, but my advice is to use sparingly in the batch and apply liberally, if you like, on your individual serving)

If I was really dedicated, I'd make the dumplings from scratch. Sadly, I'm not that dedicated. I use Bisquick, and the recipe printed right on the side of the box.

The comfort food helps ward off feelings of anxiety and depression, and I certainly need that. Job uncertainty, 'nuff said. What about anger, though? You have to deal with the anger, too.

The comfort answer for that arrived in stores today, and I picked up a copy. Kill Bill, Vol. 1. I defy anyone to hold on to an urge to ... lash out ... after watching it. Excellent instant therapy.

I'll admit that books are another source of comfort, but if I listed all of them I'd be here for quite a while.

Lord of the Peeps

Don't know what to do with your leftover Easter Peeps? Ever considered dramatizing your favorite literature?

Funny True Story

This really happened!

The manager of the local McD's was steamed over the staff cuts that prevented her from having the place open all night. So she sent an email to the head office stating that she was going to hang a sign up during the hours they were closed:

Sorry, closed due to a shortage of McMinions

now I can't watch any show without dubbing the evilredshirts/disposable baddies as "McMinions"

smilin chip

Fed-up fat cat goes on hunger strike

An obese German cat six times the normal weight has gone on a hunger strike at a Berlin animal shelter after being taken from his owner who had fed him two kg (4.4 lbs) of mince daily, Bild newspaper reported.

4.4 POUNDS?!? Of MINCE?

I'm not sure how, but DK's gotta be to blame...

I could not believe my...well, eyes!

AMSTERDAM, The Netherlands (Reuters) -- Body piercing and tattoos make way. A new fashion statement has hit the Netherlands -- eyeball jewelry.

Now if they came up with a Farscape-style "S", there are probably scapers out there crazy enough to try it...

Dig discovery is oldest 'pet cat'

"The discovery of a cat buried with what could be its owner in a Neolithic grave on Cyprus suggests domestication of cats had begun 9,500 years ago."

/me chortles at Pye, and points to the word "domestication" again

;-)

NASA probe returning with solar booty

Okay, that headline just sounds bad, but it's what the article posted at CNN used. The closing paragraph has me wondering what NASA's been smoking recently:

"To preserve the delicate solar particles in their matrix of gold, sapphire and diamond, specially trained helicopter pilots will snag the return capsule from mid-air using giant hooks. The flight crews for the two helicopters assigned for the capture and return of Genesis are former military aviators, Hollywood stunt pilots and an active-duty Air Force test pilot."

Suddenly, I have images of Willy Wonka's Elevator and its "sky hooks" whirling through my mind...

And this one is for SL...

NZ's answer to Pamplona: the running of the sheep

A small New Zealand town reached for some of the glamour and danger of the Spanish bull-run city of Pamplona yesterday - by running 2,000 woolly sheep through the middle of town.

No one was chased, trampled or gored by the animals in the inaugural "Running of the Sheep". And instead of seeking cover, most spectators helped stop the shaggy mob from scurrying everywhere but the right direction.

As organiser John Grainger predicted, the result was pure chaos as sheep, people and dogs struggled along the planned route through North Island's Te Kuiti, a rural farming town 570 km north of the capital, Wellington.

Headed initially by All Black rugby greats Colin Meads and Sir Brian Lochore, the sheep were supposed to do a quick circuit through the town centre.

But the 2,000 ewes lacked the instinct of Spanish bulls, as they split into puzzled groups and flocked in all directions.

Spectators whistled, shouted and waved their arms to direct the flock.

"The sheep I think panicked ... and we couldn't keep in front of them," Meads chuckled.

The crowd, most of the town's 4,374 population, was delighted.

The event "was extremely ambitious, sheep being sheep, and people being people," one unnamed woman told New Zealand's TV3 News.

"I think it's got international potential," she laughed.

Dave Barry's Wedding Tips

I suppose this really wasn't funny when it actually occurred, but boy, did it make me and Fred laugh...

Battle of the Drug Lords

My state is now officially endorsing the use of Canadian pharmacies to fill prescriptions. Or perhaps I should say, my governor has decided as much.

It's unfortunate that the situation has come to this. I have strong feelings about the pricing of prescription medications in the United States, but this approach isn't going to solve the problem. It's just a bandaid on an arterial bleed. (Not that that would ever stop my governor, who besides being unethical, sexist, and an idiot, pretty much defines the concept of a loose cannon.)

Fred had to fill a prescription for eyedrops last month (the blistered eyeball incident). For a fraction of an ounce (the container was smaller than my thumb), the price was $80 US. It's insane.

TV-Turnoff Week

TV-Turnoff Week: April 19-25, 2004

Passing Effect

I've been exposed recently to a course in resilience at work. The timing is good, because we're going through some uncertainty. The bottom line? Know thyself, and let it pass.

I'm over-simplifying, of course. The book goes on at great length about how you have to watch your reactions, your thoughts, and your buried assumptions. It talks about dealing with the consequences and focusing on better results. I still think I'm on the money with my summary.

Have you ever listened, really listened to your inner monologue? Try it sometime; you may be surprised. Going through this course made me listen a bit more closely. I've prided myself on self-honesty, and I think I generally practice it, but you really have to stop and listen to yourself.

What does this have to do with the title, "passing effect"? When you really understand why you feel something or react in a certain way, it passes. At least, the emotional charge passes after the cold review. A lot of anger is just a reaction to having your personal space violated, metaphorically, and that looks pretty silly in retrospect. A lot of grief (and I'm not talking about real tragedy here) drags on because you think about what might have been, and why should you linger on that? I'm happy to say that laughter stays. :)

How many people in the world can really stand to ask honestly why they do something? For some -- let's just go ahead and say politicians -- the answer is pretty easy, naked ambition and they accept it. How many others?