God summoned Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton, and Bill Gates into His presence and informed them that Pat Robertson has finally persuaded Him that the world was too corrupt to save, and He was going to wind it up in 30 days. The three leaders were told to go home and prepare their people for the end.

Yeltsin went back to Moscow, got on national television, and said "Citizens, I have bad news and terrible news. The bad news is that our long-held dogma that there was no God was wrong. The terrible news is that I've spoken to Him, the world is going to end in 30 days, and our souls aren't prepared."

Clinton too went home and announced to the nation that he had good news and less-good news. "The good news is that our long-held dogma that there is a God was right! The less-good news is that He's going to end the world in 30 days, but as good believers we have time to get our souls right with Him."

Gates went back to Microsoft, got on the Internet, and announced "Micro-serfs, I have good news and fabulous news! The good news is that God has decided I'm important enought to be called into His presence along with Yeltsin and Clinton. The fabulous news is that we won't need to ship Windows 95!!"

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Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton and Bill Gates found themselves in a meeting with God. "Gentlemen, you are the most influental in the world and I have some bad news. I'm going to end the world in three days. Please go back and tell your people."

Boris Yeltsin goes back and tells his peple, "Comrades, I have bad and worse news. The bad news is there is a God. The worse news is, he's going to end the world in three days."

Bill Clinton goes back the US and tells the Americans, "I have some good news and bad news. The good news is there is a God, the bad news is he is going to end the world in three days."

Bill Gates goes back to Redmond and tells his programers, "I have good news and great news. God thinks I'm one of the three most influental men in the world. The better news is we only have to support Windows '95 for three more days."

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God looks down on earth and decides he's had enough. With a crack of thunder, He summons to heaven the three most powerful people on Earth: Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin and Bill Gates.

"Gentlemen," God says. "I have called you here because I am truly disappointed in humans and decided to end the world. You have one week to prepare your people." With a crack of thunder, God sends all three back to Earth.

Bill Clinton calls together his Cabinet and tells them: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is there is a God. The bad news is he's really ticked off at us and is going to end the world in a week."

Boris Yeltsin calls together his Parliament and says: "Comrades, I have bad news and I have worse news. The bad news is we were wrong; there is a God. The worse news is He's very mad at us and the world is going to end in a week."

Bill Gates calls together his top engineers and says: "I have good news and better news. The good news is God considers me one of the three most powerful people in the world. The better news is we don't have to fix Windows '95."

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Yeltsin, Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with God. During dinner He told them: "I need three important people to send my message out to all people: Tomorrow I will destroy the earth."

Yeltsin immediately called together his cabinet and told them: "I have two really bad news items for you:

1. God really exists and
2. Tomorrow He will destroy the earth."

Clinton called an emergency meeting of the Senate and Congress and told them: "I have good news and bad news:

1. The GOOD news is that God really does exist
2. The BAD news is, tomorrow He is going to destroy the Earth."

Bill Gates went back to Microsoft and very happily announced: "I have two fantastic announcements:

1. I am one of the three most important people on earth
2. The Year 2000 problem is solved."

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